Irish equipment security specialist Kosran sent the following two Irish jokes to celebrate St Patricks day this weekend. Given that they were sent by an Irishman and it is Friday afternoon here and Sunday is the big day - here they are.
A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman were drinking together in McSorley's Bar in New York City.
"Y'know," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a wee bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two!"
"Ahhhrr, that's nothing," said the Irishman, "back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs to see that you get laid. All on the House!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims but he swears every word is true.
"Wow!" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no" said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister."
The Irish Moose Hunt
Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They managed to bag six. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.
The two lads objected strongly. “Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year.”
If you want some editorial balance click here to check out a few seriously amazing facts about the Irish economy!